anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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