After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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