I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
