whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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