That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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