Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
