i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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