i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
