how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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