I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
