We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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