were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
