Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
