I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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