I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dignity is for republicans.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
