so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
