i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
