how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
