Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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