Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
