he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
