worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
that may or may not have been my penis.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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