hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize