Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
