She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
