You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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