Its about making memories worth repressing
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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