glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
