I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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