Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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