your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
