Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
