she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
