The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
