these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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