Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
