but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
