a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
