I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize