i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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