Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize