'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I see more hoeing in ur future
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