i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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