Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
