Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
