haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
