At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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