you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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