Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We're too hungover to prance.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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