$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
