That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
