I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
