Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
