eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
