we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
