maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize