Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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