I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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