Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
