I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
