after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
