i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
